Confessions and passionate kisses

So first, I guess I must confess to some of you that I have a touch of insomnia. Don't worry, I think someday I will outgrow it. My problem tonight is that so far, both of my boys have visited me. Ryan wanted to sleep with Kaeleigh tonight. We agreed that she needed one of us tonight. Ryan has been very busy with his calling lately and work, and we think Kaeleigh is feeling a little lonely. I was kind of looking forward to sprawling in the king size bed, sleeping diagonally or whatever I wanted. First, there was Deegan...an hour after listening to the routine "ows!" of his horrible eczema, and me scratching (gently) he went back to his own room when I got up and used the bathroom. He must have woken Carson. Carson paid me a visit right after. These are my snuggle bugs. There is no king size in pint size! They are like velcro! Guess what...I love it!

So as I lay awake, I realize that all I keep thinking about is this blog. I confess that I have been a lurker to many a blog. So this is not completely new...just my actually "owning" a blog is. I thought to myself what would I write next...and of course I must tell you something about my sweet children! I have complete bragging rights on this page!

I feel so loved every day and every night. I have a family of the BEST KISSERS! First there is my darling little Ashlyn. She absolutely loves kisses. Sometimes they are wet ones...OK, most of the time they are! But, when she figures out how to put her lips together to press them to mine, or my cheek, it is so perfectly my favorite! She may be my "earliest kisser" of the four kiddos.

Deegan...people should line up for kisses from this boy! I don't know how to say it without fully doing him justice. Have you ever had a child that was so hard and you craved affection back just to know that they loved you and felt like not everything was war? Deegan has been a VERY hard child, and thankfully, he is coming out of that. My favorite moment is bedtime with him...not the nap time, but night time when it is dark. He always snuggles to the wall side of his bed and points to the other half and says "Mom's 'bot!" He 99% of the time convinces me to stay a little longer as he has found my weakness. As I lay there, he does sneak attack kisses. If I close my eyes, he (always sneakily) kisses my nose, then my forehead, my cheeks, my chin...then he starts kissing the wall, the bed, his pillow, etc. as he is giggling through all this. But in all the silliness, whenever he kisses me at this game, he is the most delicate, tender child. His kisses are soft and gentle, unlike the rest of his day of blazing fast craziness. This is the moment that I love. I should add that he has figured out that he loves to kiss Ashlyn's hairy head. I want to take a picture every time I catch him, but he stops every time I pull out the camera.

Let's not forget my Carson. Carson loves his hugs and kisses at bedtime. He probably sneaks in nearly 5 of each every night. I get all the way to the door and he calls me back for "just one more". It's a set kind of thing. You can't do one without the other. If you only do one, then you have to start over. He is the one who started this kissing thing with Deegan. I am sure, as they share a room, Deegan has watched this go on probably every night of his life that he can remember. Carson gives Ryan such hard time if he tries to put Carson to sleep. Carson is devastated if he can't get his Mom hug and kiss! There was a time that Ryan nearly banned me from being gone at bedtime I think.

Then there is my Kaeleigh. Kaeleigh may not admit it to you, but she loves my kisses. She is not too old for them yet. I don't get many from her, but I love to give them to her. (She's more of a hugger.) I love to kiss her soft cheeks, and especially her forehead right after she takes a shower and her hair smells so good from the conditioner! She is my first child. It all started with her! Kaeleigh was our only child for over four years. With every kiss to her, I think of how grateful I am for her. She is my rock solid child. She was born "choosing the right". She puts so much pressure on herself to be good and I sense that she is frustrated right now. It is not easy being the oldest when the little ones are so much smaller. She is practically my little mama. I know we ask a lot of her, and we are trying to remember to let her be a child. She is going through orthodontic work right now and she has been a trooper. I am constantly impressed by the example she is to me. I want nothing more than for her to be happy...same goes for the rest of my kids. I just wish that with every kiss I give them I could somehow "suck out" their pains and frustrations. I wish it were magic like that.

Well of course Ryan may be offended if I didn't include him in my list of good kissers...Ryan KNOWS he is the best kisser...at least that's what he tells me! Just kidding babe! Ryan is the best at everything though. I have to give him that.

Well, I think I will give the sleep thing a try again. Who knows, maybe now I can stop thinking about this blog. Probably not...I'll just think of something else. Lucky reader, you!